From
the Patriot News - Author, Azriela Jaffe
"Stand up straight. Put your napkin on your lap. Hold
your utensils properly. Ladies before gentlemen. Join
a team so you can learn to work with others."
Sounds like timeless advice for professional conduct and
social etiquette, right?
Barbara
J. Cummings of Oley, near Reading, has managed to take
something she knows a lot about and turn it into a business
aimed at helping business owners communicate with one
another without making fools out of themselves, or worse,
crossing the line into illegal territory. As Barbara tells
it, "When no one else's mother seemed so very strict,
my Southern-born mother kept up the heat. Social etiquette
was her battle cry--and cry I did until I got it right,
along with three male siblings."
A
father growing up in Birdsboro, Berks County, who became an
award-winning insurance salesman, and a Southern bell who
was an entrepreneur selling Sarah Coventry jewelry was an
alignment that was to have far-reaching aftereffects.
Barbara
was working as a manager at a trauma center in suburban
Philadelphia and growing weary of a daily 140- mile
round-trip commute from the Reading area to her job. After
25 years in the medical profession, in many capacities and
disciplines, she had reached burnout and couldn't subject
herself anymore to a world where life-threatening conditions
were reduced to temporary identification of the patient as
Doe-A-145.
She
remembers how she felt eight years ago when she started
seriously contemplating a change in her professional life.
The question was, "If I set out on my own, at this age
(45), what would I do and what would I have to offer?
I began to query my family and friends. What talents do I
have that you might consider paying a fee for service?
Grateful still that I didn't draw continued blank stares, I
wrote down several wonderful replies. For example, 'You
could sell ice to Eskimos if you're passionate about it.' 'I
love your table manners and watch you for directions while
dining.' 'It's obvious you were in management by your
demeanor and sophistication.' 'You were taught
negotiating skills early by being raised by both a
Northerner and Southerner, a Baptist and a Catholic, a
Yankee and a Rebel -- all in the same two parents.' 'You
have lived all over the world and know so much about
different cultures.'"
Five
years ago, Barbara decided to capitalize on her unusual
understanding of -- maybe even obsession with -- proper
business and social etiquette, and she quit her job. She
recalls,"Giving notice at the hospital was the scariest
thing I have ever done. I had to get closer to home and to
build a business life in my own community."
"I
took some sales training classes and business courses, came
up with a name and a niche market (Politicus Correctus,
offering systematized sales training called Sales Warrior --
a combination of sales, business and social etiquette
training), planned my budget, filed business and tax forms,
incorporated and then tested the waters by developing a
customer-service training program part time for a local
training company."
The
program was a hit, and Barbara expanded into management
training, diversity, public speaking and sexual harassment
prevention training. She now teaches sales/ sales-management
training programs around the country that are uniquely
peppered with her deeper understanding of proper etiquette
if one wishes to be viewed with respect and admiration by
the business community and sales prospects.
I
asked Barbara to share the one most common mistake she sees
business professionals make in the social etiquette
department, and the faux pas many of us make without even
realizing that we are acting in a way that could give a poor
impression. Is it as simple as chewing with our mouths open
at a business lunch? She explains,"Good manners are
nothing more than being aware of the other person and how we
appear to them and making them comfortable. For instance,
too many folks attack the hors d'oeuvre as if the
executioner is waiting in the wings. Come to the function
with at least crackers in your system. It's difficult to
talk business when you are starving. "Many folks in the
heat of a business discussion forget their table manners. I
witnessed a gentleman about to close a business deal. In his
apparent excitement he appeared to be a sword swallower when
he stuck his knife into his mouth to clean it from bits of
egg yolk. The prospective client visibly recoiled. The sales
professional had a clean cutting utensil, but I don't think
he had the order. I had to leave and never knew the outcome,
but it didn't look good."
"Food
gets stuck in our teeth. How we address that embarrassment
is critical. Capturing that runaway and uncooperative morsel
in your teeth at the table by any method (fork, toothpick,
finger, floss) is unacceptable. Excuse yourself verbally
from the table and cleanse in the privacy of the wash room. "
"Dunking is dangerous! What is more disgusting than
watching someone dunking anything? Get a mental picture of a
chocolate donut coming apart in hot coffee and falling. Now,
try to do business! Dunking at home is fine, but remember
how it appears in the business world. If you spill it, spit
it or knock it over, don't ignore it. Always apologize and
never forget to smile sincerely. Do not lose your
demeanor." My children are ages 7, 5 and 3. Our
dinner hour would be a whole lot more civilized if I could
get across these basic lessons to them!
For
more information about the programs and consulting services
of Politicus Correctus Inc., go to
www.politicuscorrectus.com on the Internet or call (610)
689-5566.
Azriela Jaffe specializes in business and workplace issues.
Her syndicated column, Advice from A-Z, appears Fridays in
The Patriot- News Business section.
